Joe Biden is off to Camp David to gear up for next week’s debate against Donald Trump, and if reports are to be believed, the man is practically in training just to keep standing. Yes, it’s come to this: the current Commander-in-Chief rehearsing the basic act of standing upright for the duration of a debate.
CNN, the host network, tells us the debate will span about 90 minutes with a couple of commercial breaks sprinkled in. Originally, Biden’s team supposedly wanted the candidates seated at tables, perhaps to ease the physical strain on him. Trump, however, spilled the beans on the Cats & Cosby Show last month, expressing his disdain for the sit-down format: “I hear now we’re sitting at tables. I don’t want to sit at a table… I said, ‘No, let’s stand.’ But they want to sit at a table,” he lamented. It looks like they might end up standing after all.
And it doesn’t stop there. Biden is reportedly sharpening his verbal jabs, crafting “punchier” one-liners aimed at Trump, including zingers about Trump’s bizarre COVID suggestions and his hair—because, of course, personal appearance is what’s most crucial in presidential debates, right? It reeks of desperation, the kind you’d expect in a low-effort political ad rather than a presidential debate.
On the flip side, Trump is eschewing traditional mock debates. He’s opting instead to wing it on the night, confident in his ability to contrast his record with what he sees as Biden’s litany of failures. Trump’s spokesman, Brian Hughes, didn’t mince words: “Biden needs rehearsals with handlers to find some way to explain this mess he’s made of our nation.” Meanwhile, he says, “President Trump is always prepared to present to Americans his record of success and Biden’s weakness and failures.”
What we’re witnessing here isn’t just preparation for a debate; it’s a stark portrayal of the current state of American politics—where one candidate must rehearse basic physical endurance and the other capitalizes on his opponent’s apparent frailties. As Biden hunkers down in Camp David, presumably going over his lines and practicing not to topple over, Trump readies for what seems to promise more spectacle than substance. Welcome to the 2024 presidential race, where the theater of politics plays out not just on policies but on the physical and verbal stamina of its contenders.
